This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing: 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. You can put them with my two male talking parrots. I taught them to read the bible and pray the rosary."
The lady brings over her parrots and puts them in the priest's cage. "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" they say.
One male parrot looks over at the other and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"
A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking a leg. The ferocious bear was charging at him from a distance, and he couldn't move.
"Oh, Lord," the preacher prayed, "I'm so sorry for skipping services today. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish. Please Lord, make a Christian out of that bear coming at me!"
That very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud right at the preacher's feet.
"Dear Lord, bless this food I am about to receive..."
Female girlfriend to her blonde girlfriend: ”I went for a pregnancy test today.“ Blonde girlfriend asked: ”Oh, and was the test difficult?“
A couple had an argument whilst driving and then passes a pigfarm Husband asked sarcastically: ”relatives of yours?“ wife responds: ”Yip, my in-laws!“
Granny gets on to her bicycle…her little grandson asked her: ”Where are you going to, Granny?“ She replied:“ to the graveyard, my boy“. Grandson: “but who is going to bring the bicycle back!"
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
quotes
If you're a hopeless romantic, nothing can bring a smile to your face quite like cute love quotes can. The problem is, finding cute love quotes that aren't cheesy can be a bit harder than one might imagine. That being said, they are indeed out there. Here are 20 cute love quotes that are anything but cheese.
1. "Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means." ~ Leo Buscaglia
2. "Love builds bridges where there are none." ~ R. H. Delaney
3. "Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great." ~ Comte DeBussy-Rabutin
4. "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell." ~ Joan Crawford
5. "When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out." ~ Elizabeth Bowen
6. "Love is too strong a word to say it too early, but it has too beautiful a meaning to say it too late." ~ Kurt Cornish
7. "What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork." ~ Pearl Bailey
8. "Love is the only gold." ~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson
9. "LOVE: The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." ~ Mark Twain
10. "Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it." ~ Josh Billings
11. "I don't want to live-- I want to love first, And live incidentally." ~ Zelda Fitzgerald,
12. "Love is like an hourglass with the heart filling up as the brain empties." ~ Jules Renard
13. "Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle." ~ Crystal Middlemas
14. "Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." ~ Franklin P. Jones
15. "Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise." ~ Samuel Johnson
16. "It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it." ~ Francois De La Rochefoucauld
17. "If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools." ~ Katherine Mansfield
18. "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." ~ H. L. Mencken
19. "Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love" ~Albert Einstein
20. "Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is." ~ Diane Ackerman
Who says cute love quotes have to be cheesy? These twenty love quotes prove otherwise. The next time you find an anti-romantic in need of romantic inspiration, share these cute love quotes with them and prove that love is worth pursuing!
1. "Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means." ~ Leo Buscaglia
2. "Love builds bridges where there are none." ~ R. H. Delaney
3. "Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great." ~ Comte DeBussy-Rabutin
4. "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell." ~ Joan Crawford
5. "When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out." ~ Elizabeth Bowen
6. "Love is too strong a word to say it too early, but it has too beautiful a meaning to say it too late." ~ Kurt Cornish
7. "What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork." ~ Pearl Bailey
8. "Love is the only gold." ~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson
9. "LOVE: The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." ~ Mark Twain
10. "Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it." ~ Josh Billings
11. "I don't want to live-- I want to love first, And live incidentally." ~ Zelda Fitzgerald,
12. "Love is like an hourglass with the heart filling up as the brain empties." ~ Jules Renard
13. "Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle." ~ Crystal Middlemas
14. "Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." ~ Franklin P. Jones
15. "Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise." ~ Samuel Johnson
16. "It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it." ~ Francois De La Rochefoucauld
17. "If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools." ~ Katherine Mansfield
18. "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." ~ H. L. Mencken
19. "Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love" ~Albert Einstein
20. "Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is." ~ Diane Ackerman
Who says cute love quotes have to be cheesy? These twenty love quotes prove otherwise. The next time you find an anti-romantic in need of romantic inspiration, share these cute love quotes with them and prove that love is worth pursuing!
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